We are Best Friends!

I don’t remember exactly when, but we met at a young age and shortly developed a connection. As I started growing up, she never left my side. We soon became close, it became impossible to part my ways with her. Although she was an enemy most of the time, she was also a good companion, someone who was always there for me, irrespective of what. She was like a sister, my other half. She was like a shadow, always there, following me, advising me to concentrate on my work.

We fought plenty, by which I mean every time. But it wasn’t entirely her fault. It was mine too, thanks to all the emerging hormones I didn’t sign up for. She was irritating at times, then again she was just doing her work, cautioning me here and there, constantly looking out for me in times of need, and well that’s what a good friend does.

We were so intimate, it felt like she always spoke out my sub-conscious thoughts, as if she could peep right into my mind like an open window, and shut it whenever she wanted. It was one of those critical windows which only she could see and had the control to. Well again, who coined the term “best friends?”

She was always around, easily reachable and knew exactly what I was thinking. This infuriated me. Was I really easy to read or had it been long enough to our friendship, or I had nobody else but her to open up to? I didn’t want her to know everything every time. Hello privacyyyy?

It was upsetting. Some things are to be kept a secret, even from a best friend. I didn’t want her to be around so often, I didn’t want her seeing all my disordered thoughts and imaginations, giving me useless suggestions all the time, which I already knew. But that’s the thing. Once you’re attached to someone, the road to suffering begins. Attachment makes you mentally enslaved, and it inevitably destroys you in ways you never imagined.

But something about her kept our friendship going. She didn’t mock me like the others and never made fun of me. She embraced my flaws and imperfections. Told me it was normal to think like that and be vulnerable at times. She infact, helped me get through it. We all have a friend like that right!

Even though she was the more dominant one within the relationship, I didn’t comply with her all the time. Sometimes I argued and refused to give in to her terms. She’d fight with me, shout at me, mentally abuse me, and give me temporary headaches. On and off, she would hold me down, scream down my ears until I zoned out enough to hear nothing else but the sharp screams of her voice.

Sometimes when I acted stubborn, she’d rebuke me and stop talking to me altogether and pay no heed to my complaints. But it’d only ever last for some hours. Soon she’d be back to normal and she’d come to me. We’d sit hugging one another like two friends in a new place, and we would hold onto each other for a long time. That was her way of telling me that she’d forgiven me, and she’d make everything perfect. She would reassure me that all the worries inside my head were real but easily controllable. All I had to do was hear her and follow her commands.

Listening to music, taking a deep breath, and writing down my thoughts, were some things  that helped- things that she taught me as part of my growing up, things that I could use to handle the bad days. “No, don’t go there, it’s not safe”, “What if you fail?” she’d say. “Face it, you’re good for nothing”, “Don’t try this or people will laugh at you”, so on and so forth. I’d generally take her advice now and then. No questions asked.

The first time it happened, I felt embarrassed, like why does she need to make it so obvious? But there was logic to her words. Whenever I did what she told me to, it felt a burden had been lifted off my heart, like everything that was pushing down on me had wiped out. Surprisingly, even she would leave me and go once I complied with her norms.

We used the ‘this-is-how-you-cope-up-with-bad-days’ methods she taught me, quite a lot. Distancing myself from people and shutting myself to the world for some days so I could rejuvenate myself, was another of her suggestions. When the typical methods weren’t enough, this might come in handy. It was sort of a physical reminder that I had done something or something terrible had happened to me. So when I returned to the ‘normal me’, I could relax and I didn’t need to worry.

We had to make sure that we worked together. It was exasperating and everything simple became complex. I didn’t like her now, but I knew I needed her. If she left me, I’d lose a part of myself too. She was wise. I couldn’t deny her of that. She knew ways to encourage me. She knew how to make the pain go away and if it didn’t go away, on the bad days, it might just worsen and she knew this.

I still feel embarrassed. I don’t know if it’s right or wrong, good or bad, normal or not. Sometimes when I’m working, I attempt to cover it up, pretending I’m fine, smiling, and acting like things are all right. I walk around as if nothing is happening, I’ve become quite the actor you know! I should definitely give it a try just in case I fail, and here we go again! You’ll know what I’m talking about once you reach the end, don’t worry!

It’s harder to pretend when people are around. I feel like they’re watching me. Judging me. Laughing at me. But if they heard what I did, if they saw the things that I did, if they felt the things I did, they’d do it too.

I’m not crazy. I understand that it’s not logical. I know that I have given my best during exams, I have been loyal to my boyfriend, I have selected the right career choice, I have turned off the AC in my room, or I’ve locked my house, but what if I haven’t? I know that I have brushed my teeth before eating food, but what if I haven’t? I know that by placing my lipstick in the exact same position after I used it, won’t mean that something bad won’t happen, but then, it’s not been proven otherwise.

I don’t know what part of ‘I know it already’ does she not understand. She is still there. Sometimes in front of me, sometimes behind the back of my mind. She looks out for me. She is my “best friend”, as she likes to call it. And for a few hours, sometimes minutes, seconds, she gives me peace. But she is the one who gives me hell too. She is my other self, a part of me that I can’t unfortunately cut off.

She is my anxiety.

Let your Dreams become Reality….

The first step!

We are born into the world as humans. Our work here is not just to eat and sleep. We have been given a thought process so that we use it to our maximum potential to have name, fame, for the benefit of society, to uplift humanity to the next level, etc. We wish to do things in this world, but after doing all those things we find somehow it’s not enough.

People always tend to have “little more” than what they already have, it’s because they did not plan, and settled for whatever they achieved. This process of desiring is continuously going on. So all of us, consciously or unconsciously want to accomplish some dreams- dreams that we want to make a reality. This is one of the magnificent things we have been gifted with as individuals- the unquenchable desire to see dreams of a noble life. The only thing we need to do for this is to establish certain goals and incorporate the right strategies. 

Whenever we plan things, and they don’t happen how we want them to be, we are tempted to name it as “our destiny.” But that’s not true. If you want something to happen, you have to master your energy. You see, you cannot figure out every aspect of life around you, but if you have mastery over your mind, you can decide 50-60% of your fate. It’s because you have the power to mold your paths and not vice versa.

The kind of life some of you are leading right now is only enough for your survival, but not enough for you to master your dreams.

Sometimes, in the course of life, you meet people who tell you things like- “This was what God wanted”, “Marriages are made in heaven”, “His death was decided by God”, etc. You believe so many such things because that’s what people told you. Such thoughts may lead you to frustration, but we need to think about our unfulfilled potential. Many things that we thought were really out of our control or determined by God, today those things are in our hands. 

When we were small, we used to see different things and get excited. We always wanted to get our hands on those things when we become big. Similarly, our dreams and aspirations are like those things, as we grow up, they remain intact, and we work hard to achieve them. Seeing a dream, and by this, I mean a vision for the future, is very important, because dreams motivate, inspire, and improve you to chase your goals.

“Life is not something we find, it is something we create.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr

Do you ever sit down and imagine how you can turn your dreams into reality? 

Thoughts become things- Choose the good ones.

There are times in our life when something we want comes surprisingly to us. Like those times when we wanted a ‘Hot Wheels’ game, or we were eyeing that beautiful Barbie dress, and we got it- whether our family gave it to us or we got it as a birthday present from someone. It’s because we got pulled into a force, and obtained the things we wanted. This is called the ‘Law of Attraction.’

The Internet describes this as “it is our positive or negative thoughts that bring the good or the bad experiences into our life.” Our thoughts are like vibrations, so if we generate powerful thoughts and let them out, it will always manifest themselves. 

The subconscious mind of humans does not comprehend the difference between positive and negative thoughts. So if you have dreams of acquiring love, success, a good career, your mind will automatically work for it, but if you doubt your dreams, you will only find roadblocks in the path of constructing your dream life. Therefore, you should not worry about your subconscious fears, but your hopes and your dreams. 

Some people might question this theory though, saying that if they dream of becoming a millionaire, will they? Maybe yes, if they have a firm belief, and they work towards it with determination. There are many stories of ‘rags to riches’ in history. Dhirubhai Ambani came to Mumbai with Rs.20000 in the year 1960, and now his company is one of the biggest and richest in the world. 

People dream big and want to reach great heights, but they doubt their potential, thinking they are ordinary men and things are out of their reach. This uncertainty only gets stronger day by day and gradually, it turns into reality, and they do not achieve anything. Then some people have strong willpower and faith in themselves, who style their life the way they want it to look.

Wonders start to happen when you give substantial energy to your dreams.

The way you contemplate, focus, have firmness and persuasiveness, will define whether your dream will become certain or is it just a hollow thought.

Saying whether something is possible or not is not your business, it’s Natures’ business. So, all you are doing is using the past experiences of life as a basis for deciding whether something is possible or not. In simpler words, you have come to the conclusion that what has not happened till now cannot happen in your life in the future. So, do not create impediments for your thoughts.

Your work is just to see what it is that you want and strive for that, and if your thought is powerful, without negative beliefs bringing down the intensity of the thought process, it will work out for you. 

Building a dreamlife

All of us have cognitive ability in us that can help us draft plans and develop tactics to achieve our goals. We need self-motivation to do so, we need to construct that kind of enthusiasm, a drive, a burning desire within us, to encourage ourselves and bring those skills forward.

Over here are some things that you can follow if you want to work towards that dream life you’ve imagined-

1- Make a Vision board

· Start by taking a big sized canvas/paper, big enough to fit all your dreams in life, like – getting a job, traveling to countries, having a relationship, maintaining your friend circle, developing good relations with family, making your own house, earning big, and so on so forth.

· You can cut out pictures of these things from magazines, or print images, buy posters, use any quote that you like which motivates you, pictures of dream destinations, etc. that you can paste on this canvas/paper.

· Furthermore, you can divide the canvas/paper into different sections, for instance- lifestyle, family, interests, health, or anything that you want. This will work like a compass in life, which will help you steer yourself in the right direction so that you don’t veer off your path. Whatever you have in your head, the board helps you to put everything in a physical realm.

2- Develop self-confidence: People tend to lose confidence when they aren’t clear with what they want. For example- if you are told to walk in a well-lit area, you don’t need any confidence, but at the same time, if you are told to walk in dark, you will not have the same confidence, unless you believe in your capability and have a determination to accept the challenges. Hence, develop self-confidence. If you do not attempt to bring this self-assurance in your life and try to live it on a puffed-up sense of confidence, somebody is always going to prick it and bring it down, or life situations might do it. 

3- Work on the right problems: People miss chances, waste resources, and end up chasing trivial opportunities that aren’t associated with their goals. This is when people get stuck in life and they don’t know what to do, how to move forward. They don’t have the right tools to get out of the mess they have created. Therefore, try to list down the challenges, and tackle the ones that have a greater impact, rather than working on the insignificant ones, which are not of too much importance. 

4- Focus on one goal at a time: You will have n-number of goals in life, you can’t achieve all of them together and attack them at the same time. If you try to do this it will just take longer for you to reach the top. It might also feel like you won’t pick the momentum, and you will condemn yourself saying things like “God, I am getting nowhere in life!”, “Everything is moving so slow”, and so on.

5- Prioritize your dreams: Decide which ones you want to achieve first, which are more important and feasible. There’s the number 1 dream that you have, that overlooks all your other dreams. Then there’s a number 2. So go on and number them and try achieving in that order. It might not necessarily work because different opportunities come at different times, but at least you will have a plan of how you want to go about things. It’s not just about dreaming, but also about moving towards action.

6- Don’t let the negativity pave its way inside: Try to attract positive energies, self-motivate yourself. Every time you have a negative thought, try to stop and read something good. Google good quotes that will give you self-assurance, listen to music, play sports, read good books, good blogs, talk to your loved ones, and share your feelings with them. It helps to clean out those self-deprecating thoughts that you have about yourself. Make sure you set strong borders to preserve your sanity.

7- Remind yourself constantly: Wake up each day and teach your brain to manifest your dreams. Build that conviction in yourself that no matter what you won’t give up on your dreams and you will fight for them. Without struggle, there is no progress. Tell yourself every day that you can achieve your dreams. If you are brave enough to dream, you are brave enough to make it a reality. 

8- Accept the failure: Our life is unpredictable. Even if we plan the next moment, it might not work out that way. We are bound to meet unexpected circumstances. There are always some high points in life, and then there are low points as well. If you are at a low point in life, embrace that. It is okay to feel vulnerable, but don’t stop. Be loyal to your dreams. Don’t settle down with whatever you have achieved, you have a long way to go. Use these points to learn your lessons and turn them into opportunities.

Sail away from safe harbour, catch the trade wind in your sails.

9- Don’t change your direction: If the energy of your mind, emotions, and physical body, are organized in one direction and you keep it unwavering in that direction for a certain period, anything you wish can happen. Right now the biggest problem with our mind is that it’s changing its direction every time. If you want to go somewhere, and you keep changing your direction every two seconds, the question of you reaching the destination is very remote, unless it happens by chance. 

There’s only one life that we have- this! This life is too wonderful for us to not fulfill our dreams. Someday when we are near death, we will want to look back at our life. We can either find joy in that, or we can regret not trying to complete our dreams. But if you do achieve whatever you envisioned your dream life to be, you will find happiness and develop a sense of peace throughout your life. You will not leave the world with any remorse. 

It’s all about loving someone <3

Fall in love with someone who chooses you as confidently as you choose them. Don’t settle for less, you deserve to keep the love you keep trying to give everybody else. Find someone who makes you laugh, and laughs with you. Because life is too short to spend your time being sad. Recognise who can detect the slightest change in the tone of your voice. Love is all about understanding each others’ silent notes.

Fall in love with someone who appreciates your constant nervousness, impatience and jealous moods. Because people like that are hard to find. You’d rather choose someone in front of whom you can be yourself, you can act like a child and at the same time you can be mature when situations are tough.  Let him listen to your never-ending talks. If he can listen and not get irritated, you know he is the one. Give your heart to somebody who knows how to make it up to you after hurting you. Sorry isn’t always enough. Open your heart to someone who lifts you, fights for you when the reality of life gets difficult and discouraging. It feels good to have somebody out there, who constantly cares for you. We all are strong, yet we do need someone who would remind us what love feels like, everyday.

Fall in love with someone who challenges you and inspires you to think and feel. You’d never fear anything after. Dedicate yourself to the person who stands in awe of how you bloom and flourish, someone who loves you not only for who you are, but for who you have the potential to be. Someone who makes you do something you’ve never done before, someone who sees the wars within you, and feels your insecurities. You’d never have to imagine what loneliness feels like.

Fall in love with someone who ignites a wildness within you, someone who grows your mind just as much as they grow your heart. There’s always room for improvement and being better. Struggle to find someone who supports your dim, who embraces your light, someone who always wants to be your best when you are not at your best, someone who reminds you of every strong thing you are whenever you feel feeble, someone who does not make you feel you are hard to love. Life is not solid rock. In this life everything can be handled easily. You have one heart, give it to someone who does not call you weak for crying, for feeling so softly and deeply. Someone who adores the innocent you, and wipes off your tears. Let him make you cry, but see him making the efforts to make you smile.

Fall in love with someone who never lets you fall asleep thinking you are unwanted, someone who makes you feel like a home you can always return to. If he makes you feel like you can do anything in the world, whether it is right or wrong, and he’d be there to handle it, he is your knight in shining armour.

Fall in love with someone whose gentle touch gives you chill, who makes you want to dance throughout the night. Find someone who is like a poison you would drink, so toxic and enchanting at the same time, whose hands on your body feel like melted chocolate. Crave a love so deep, the ocean would be jealous, said someone.

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Million small things make the love strong. It does not require him to give you flowers and gifts everyday, a compliment or a two would do the work. Let him love you. Let him express it in hidden ways. He might not always tell you, that doesn’t mean he does not love you.

People will talk and try to bring down your love, they will convince you once in every while and it might seem like he is not the one. Give him a chance. He is not used to the kind of love you give him. He hasn’t seen anyone crying for him, he hasn’t seen anyone missing him so much. He isn’t used to being taken care of like a child. You have seen his isolated side. If he could love you when he was at his worst, he would love you even more when he is at his best. Wait for it. Good things take time.

Fall in love with someone who kisses you, kisses you slowly, kisses you like there’s no place he’d rather be. Kisses you like he is not waiting for anything else, and not just like his hands under your skirt or tangled up in your bra straps. Someone who caresses your hair, and feels the unevenness of them. Let him feel your smooth skin, your imperfect body and your curves. Love is about loving the imperfections and accepting the flaws of one another.

Fall in the kind of love that takes a lifetime to get over.

And then you will finally understand why you had to wait for so long ❤ ❤ ❤

She told you….

“How come she didn’t tell me she was depressed?” She always told me everything. From everyone else around her, I know her the best. If she needed assistance, she would come to me first. She’s the type of person who can’t keep her problems and sorrows to herself. She adores me. And she knows I am always there for her, more than anyone else”, Arun replied.

Radhika hadn’t been herself in a while. She’d been keeping something from everyone, including Arun, lately. She was sad, and there was a reason for it, one she couldn’t tell anyone about, one she couldn’t put her finger on. She wasn’t sure if it was wrong or right. She expected Arun to comprehend. That one person who meant the most to her. She’d never had true friends, people she could call at 2 a.m. and lean on.

Radhika pondered whether those five years had any meaning now. How difficult was it to understand her? How difficult was it to recognize that she wasn’t happy and that she needed Arun to recognize that?

Arun grabbed Nikita’s shoulders and shook her. Nikita and Radhika weren’t best friends. They had only known each other for two years. Radhika never really talked about Nikita; all she said was that she met her at a party and that they started talking.

“Radhika informed you. She tried.”

She told you that when she began hiding in her room and stopped calling you, she began skipping meals and refraining from going shopping. She told you when she didn’t ask if you had lunch or dinner on time, when she refused her favourite ice cream, and when she woke up with dark circles under her eyes and frequent headaches.

She began responding in monosyllables and didn’t blush after you complimented her, but you were too preoccupied to notice. She stopped arguing with you over trivial matters, and her room was filled with countless alcohol bottles—the same room that had floral curtains and was once lit by sunlight but was now dark. You noticed her weight gain and found her sitting near the verandah with drooping lilies.

We, humans, tend to underestimate the importance of little things in life and take them for granted. All of this is accepted under the guise of “Human nature!”

Nikita responded, “She told you. Every day, every minute.”

She expected you to notice. But here’s the thing about sadness: It’s quiet. It isn’t loud. And the reason you didn’t hear her was because you weren’t paying attention. Because there’s no way you wouldn’t notice if you were listening, or maybe you didn’t love Radhika enough.”

Because if you could love someone and keep loving them, then there isn’t a chance that you wouldn’t understand their silence. And if you can’t understand that, how will you ever understand their words? 

There are two kinds of silence: the kind that unites, and the kind that separates. Most of us choose the latter one, unknowingly. 

“And that’s why Radhika left,” answered Nikita.

That’s why it is so difficult to decide between leaving and staying. Because whether it’s the right or the wrong call, the hurt’s always the same….

Illusion

It had been exactly one year one month and one day since the accident.

She exhaled deeply and felt what she had been feeling all along. She looked out at the beach’s vast horizon and the setting sun. She looked up at the dark skies and saw a reflection of herself. She stared at the waves, which seemed to take every part of her with each wave. She let out a sigh.

This was the place where she felt she could be herself. And certainly not what was expected of her. Her thoughts wandered, from the canopy of trees to the California weather, and finally to the one thought she had been avoiding.

Her thoughts returned to the first day she awoke in the hospital. The white curtains, the numerous bouquets, and the expressions on the faces of dozens of people horrified her. She could tell by their actions that they were concerned about her. They tried to hold her hands, kiss her cheek, tuck her hair, and other things, but she resisted. She disliked being touched by others. She had stood there silently watching people come and go. She had no idea why she was in the hospital in the first place, and she had no idea she had so many friends and family.

Allesia inquired, “How are you feeling now?” “We have so much to catch up on,” Celyn said. “I am so relieved you are okay, Gems, you have no idea how much I have cried,” Lia said.

Gems, as they called her, fought hard. She couldn’t remember anything and she couldn’t understand what was wrong with her. None of her body parts were damaged and none was stitched. There were just simple cuts and bruises which she remembered getting while she fell. But those were normal. She had always been the kind to get herself wounded. And scratches were a part of her living.

“What happened to me?” she wondered. Her gaze darted around the room, scanning each face in the hopes of spotting someone familiar, but to no avail. She had just discovered millions of shocked eyes staring at her. She couldn’t place them. She had no recollection of the sleepovers at Lia’s house or the “girls day out” with Celyn and Allesia. The girls were now more concerned with what their Gems could remember than with her physical condition.

Gems was considered fortunate to be alive, according to the doctors. A lot of her was fixed after a lot of intensive care, which is why she couldn’t notice anything on her body. They were able to repair her body but not her brain or soul. Forgetfulness, loss of memory- Amnesia, as the doctors called it- was probably something she would have to live with for the rest of her life, if not forever. That sounded like thunder on a rainy day to the girls. They attempted to show her photographs taken with her and the gifts she gave them, but all in vain. The difficult work of remembering the past only exacerbated the situation. She used to sit all day with her head in her hands, which only made her feel sad.

A voice from behind her startled her. She returned her gaze only to see Leah. Several months after the incident, Leah was the only person she kept in touch with. Leah was invited to meet her every day after she left the hospital to talk about everything she could remember.

Her friends, family, anybody. Or about a particular object, place, or something. But Jennifer, on the other hand, couldn’t. She stopped meeting people as time passed because she had to pretend to smile at memories she didn’t even remember. It irritated her more than it hurt her because she had to smile at things that did not make her smile.

All this was taking a toll on her, and so she started to distance herself from everyone. Everyone except the person seated next to her.

“How are you feeling today?” Leah inquired.

“Not exactly the right question to ask right now,” Jennifer replied. She paused for a moment before continuing, “I keep feeling like something is missing. I know a lot of things are, but there is one major thing I am missing that I am not even aware of.” Leah gave her a faint smile and asked, “You still think there’s a Mr. X, right?”

Mr. X. She had told Leah about him a few weeks before her accident, and how he made her heart race like no one else ever did. Leah, on the other hand, had never seen him.

Strangely, Jennifer had awoken with a void in her heart, as if someone had gone missing and she didn’t know who. That void now had a name!

Slowly, her memories of him began to flood back into her mind. She couldn’t tell if he had saved her or if it was just her luck, but she vaguely remembered being pushed out of a car and having her head hit a tree trunk.

Nonetheless, she did not respond to Leah’s question. As a result, they sat side by side, watching the last rays of the sun fade beyond the horizon in silence.

“Perhaps it was just an illusion, and so you should let it go,” Leah suggested.

“Perhaps,” Jennifer said, looking up at the star-studded sky in a way she had never done before.

“But even the stars don’t shine as bright as your smile, Mr. X,” thought Jennifer, and she never let the memory of him fade away.

After all, those in love with an illusion often refuse to accept the reality (:

Visiting hours :)

She saw through the dark, clearing all the colourless smoke that obscured the view. Her feet were cold as she walked past the sick. Her expression was calm, but she was terrified. She continued walking until she came to the white door. All of the strength she had gathered seemed to be in vain. She was alone, and she had no idea why her mother was not present. She wanted to run away and hide under her blanket. However, Leela noticed herself moving forward to open the door for some reason. She grabbed the handle and pushed, finally seeing what she had been hoping to see for a long time. She didn’t move or shudder, but she cried. She cried because she couldn’t remember when it happened. She had spent her entire life in a bubble of deception.

Why would she turn her back on the object of her happiness today, when it was right in front of her?

Leela was five years old at the time. She’d never seen death before. She had no idea what it meant. But she never saw her grandmother again after that. Someone had told her that granny had been transported to a land of chocolate and happiness. Leela was overjoyed. Not that she didn’t want to listen to the bedtime stories of her grandmother, but the thought of chocolate kept her quiet.

It was only after 7 years that Leela finally realized where her grandmother was and that she would never return. All she wanted to do after that was meet her grandmother. She knew it was impossible; prayers couldn’t bring her grandmother back, but science, she reasoned, could.

What if I told you that you’re going to be the next person to die? You may go to Paris and die there because death is unavoidable. No! Not even science could bring her grandmother back.

How else was she supposed to meet her granny, thought Leela every night before going to sleep? But today was different.

“My dear, why are you crying?” inquired the elderly lady. Leela couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Was it truly her? Was she really on that bed? Had the prayers worked their enchantment? She knelt forward only to touch her grandmother’s pale skin. She quickly grabbed her fist. It was warm. Leela felt a shiver run through her body. It wasn’t fear, but rather a shock- The shock of her grandmother returning to life. And science told her it was impossible!

Leela hugged her grandmother affectionately and gently, holding her hand the entire time, just like old times. “I’ll never leave it, granny, I’ll never let you go.”

Leela took granny into her room, away from the claustrophobic environment of the hospital, and they both looked through Leela’s childhood photos. She had a lot to show her, a lot to talk about, and a lot of questions for her. The old lady felt bad for not being there for her sweet Leela every time. A tear ran down her cheek. Leela reminded her that strong women don’t cry. “Grandmother is not as strong as you believe, Leela. She has grown old and is unable to walk. “She can’t eat and she can’t speak, Leela,” the elderly lady explained. Leela had no idea what her grandmother was saying. Everything was back to normal now that grandmother was back and speaking, having walked from that white door to Leelas’ room.

Nonetheless, Leela showed her grandmother all of her dresses. She took out all of the drawings she had made while her grandmother was away. Grandmother’s heart was filled with joy with each object Leela displayed. She didn’t want to go back now, but she soon realized she’d never come. She had met Leela for a reason.

“Grandmother is deep in thought; perhaps she is considering what to give me for my birthday. Maybe I should tell her that she is a birthday present for me and that all I want from her is a promise that she will never leave me alone in this world. And in exchange, I’d promise her that I’d never cry and that I’d be a good girl,” Leela reasoned.

Leela shook her grandmother’s hand and told her about the deal. The old woman laughed and cried at Leelas’ innocence

“Is Granny laughing or crying?”

Leela was perplexed. She bought a bar of chocolate for Granny. She, however, refused. The old lady slowly moved Leela’s hands away and asked, “Leela, do you know the secret of life?”

Leela gave her a blank look, confirming that this was the right time. And for the next hour, she told Leela everything that had served her purpose in coming. She went on to describe the birth of babies, the transformation of a young girl into a responsible woman, the transformation into an old woman, and her final destination. She discussed the cycle of life and why people must die. She went on to explain why pain occurs and what remains after death so that when Leelas’ turn came, she wouldn’t be surprised by the pain. As a 12-year-old, she couldn’t understand much of what Granny said, but she got it in bits. She realized that people die and go to another world, just like this is one world she is living in. And she realized that we’d all end up in the second world at some point. But how had grandmother returned, Leela, wondered? She was about to ask her grandmother this question when she heard, “Leelaaaaa, I need you to get up quickly because I need to meet your father.”

Leela became aware that she had returned home and that she had yet to inform her mother that her grandmother had returned. What a pleasure it would be for her to hear that. She stood up and said, “Granny, please wait; I’ll inform Mother that you have returned.” Then you two can make laddoos for me,” Leela said as she ran as fast as she could. Today, her joy knew no bounds. It appeared as if she held the entire world in her hands.

Leela exclaimed, “Ouch! Mother, what are you doing here? I came to tell you that your grandmother has returned and that you should meet her. Let’s go,” Leela said. “Is Granny back? Leela, what are you saying? How long have you been asleep? Don’t you realize it’s visiting hours and I need to go to the hospital? Your father is probably waiting for you. I’m already late because you didn’t get up. Get ready, we’re leaving soon.” And, surprised, Leela jumped out of bed. “How, how is this even possible?” And then it all came back to Leela. Grandmother had been here, in her room, looking at Leelas’ childhood pictures, and just few minutes back, Leela was running like the wind, like the wild clouds.

But, alas! It had all been a dream. She finally understood what granny was saying. Granny had never arrived; it had been her soul. She recalled what Granny meant when she said, “What remains after the bodies die?” It is the soul, the soul that survives death.” She now understood why Granny had appeared in her dream, and she still held her hand, not breaking her promise. Her soul would not leave Leela alone.

“If it’s the connection of heart and love, the grandmother is still present, somewhere. If not in front of my eyes, but at least in the place where my eyes can’t see. I can feel her, her soft hands,” Leela told herself, and that was enough for her to live her life with content.

But imagine, what if the world above had visiting hours too? (:

There will be days….

Life will never be perfect, but you know what? You’d appreciate the mistakes in your life even more because you’d have so many to look back on. You will remember not only the sad memories but also the happy memories. There will be days when you’ll bleed, shatter, and cut. You’d choke yourself to death, cry, and then be sorry. Then there will be days when you’ll be driving down a nearly empty road, singing along with a song you’ve never heard before. You might think you’re alone, but when you turn around, you’ll see your half-crazy friends, with that crazy hairdo, fighting for the last slice of pizza in the backseat.

At 80 miles per hour, your car will fly and the wind will mess up your hair, but you won’t mind because no one will judge you or label you as strange. There would only be those three people who would accept you as you are. Cheers to this friendship for ten years and counting, they will say as they cling the glass together. They’ll be your family, and they’ll remind you of the days of love letters. They will bring back memories of late-night Maggi, never-ending pyjama parties, pani puri competitions, and sweet fights on the bill. Then you’ll turn and look ahead, content in your heart because you’re not alone. You wouldn’t care about the past because nothing lasts forever.

You’ll look up at the sky and see the stars, you’ll look at the lights and feel the radiance, and you’ll wonder how you ever missed the beauty of being alive. You’ll yell and laugh at the names of your crushes, and you’ll discuss your pranks with your friends.

These hundred good memories will help you forget your mother’s harsh words and the stress of being a burden on your family because you’ll know where you stand and how important you are.

You’ll have the house of your dreams someday, and it’ll be surrounded by 12 cats. You would sleep at 4 in the morning and there won’t be anyone to wake you up at 7. You’d enjoy the self-made morning coffee and no-bath days. However, you will still not have a good grasp on your life. The pieces would still be missing, and you would be unwilling to acquire them as a whole. And you’d still love yourself because you’d be strong enough to live life on your terms and pursue your dreams, regardless of what society says.

You will fall in love, and it won’t be like anything before. You won’t care about changing your appearance, you won’t stop wearing those half-torn jeans, and you won’t cry over a zit on your face. Because the man you love will see your strength and courage beyond your flaws. He will adore you for those beautiful curves you despise and the table manners you forget to follow. He’ll admire how you flip your hair and let it fall in front of your eyes. He will love you exactly as you are.

There will be days when you won’t want to get out of bed, and all you would want to do is curl up in your blanket and stare out the window at the pouring rain. You’d see the raindrops and realize that everything comes to an end, and then you’d think about life and feel sad, but then you’d call your girlfriends and vent.

Someday, you won’t have to count your money, and you’ll probably spend it on those pricey Louis Vuitton handbags and that floral dress you’ve always wanted. You’d try on 50 new clothes from your favourite clothing store, making your girlfriends wait in the changing room and almost certainly irritating them to no end. But they’d still love you.

You’d visit new places and meet new people and you’d travel everywhere possible, whichever way possible. You will touch the sky and you will touch the water, and you won’t remain stuck in an insignificant town because darling, there are footprints on the moon and blue is not the only limit to your dreams and living.

Don’t stop and fly high because birds are meant to be free…..

Happily never after….

Once upon a time….No, wait! My story does not begin in this manner. Have you heard of the phrase “happily ever after”? It is now time to read the other side of the story, i.e. ‘happily never after.’

Stories, you see, are extremely important in life. The reason is straightforward. Great stories make people feel something, and those feelings create strong bonds between the readers and the characters in the stories.

For today, I’ll just talk about two great love stories that never got completed.

Not all love stories last forever. But the ones that do, remain as examples for all lovers generation after generation. These stories renew and strengthen our love’s respect and faith in us. From Romeo and Juliet to modern Ram Leela, we’ve noticed a tragic ending to the stories because their love was never completed.

They did, however, show that true love is more powerful than anything else in the world. This is the kind of love that we all hope to find someday, but with a happier ending.

Beginning with the well-known story of Anarkali and Salim– according to legend, Salim, the son of the great Mughal emperor Akbar, fell in love with Anarkali, a beautiful girl known for her dancing abilities. Salim was captivated by her beauty and fell in love the moment he laid eyes on her. However, Anarkali, as a mere dancing girl, was considered low-born, and any relationship with them was frowned upon and strictly prohibited by society.

But love has no bounds. When the emperor learned that his son was in love with a commoner, he devised a slew of schemes to make Anarkali look bad in the prince’s eyes. When Salim learned of this, he declared war on his father and, after being defeated, was sentenced to death. This is when Anarkali steps in and renounces her love for him to save Salim.

She is then entombed alive in a brick wall right in front of Salim, bringing an end to their lovely love story. Even today, because their love was so exemplary, these two lovers are remembered and admired by lovers all over the world.

The second example is Shah Jahan and Mumtaz Mahal’s love story. Mughal Emperor Shah Jahan had met Mumtaz Mahal at his royal complex’s marketplace. For the two, it was love at first sight, and he quickly made her his third wife. According to the records in Shah Jahan’s Iqbal Namah, the relationship with his other wives was merely a marriage status. But the intimacy, deep affection, attention, and favour he felt for Mumtaz far outweighed his feelings for his other wives.

Mumtaz accompanied Shah Jahan throughout India as his companion and trusted advisor. But she died during the birth of her 14th child, leaving the Maharaja devastated. The Taj Mahal was then built as an everlasting memorial for Shah Jahan’s love- Mumtaz. Besides, to ensure that no other living structure would ever rival the beauty of the Taj Mahal, Shah Jahan severed the artists’ hands, ensuring that nothing as beautiful would ever be built.

The love story that inspired the Taj Mahal is legendary and the epitome of love. This massive monument took 20,000 workers to build and took 22 years to complete. This magnificent structure is made of clean white marble and is set among lush gardens, complete with a massive reflecting pool that regularly does what no human has ever been able to do: duplicate the beauty of the Taj Mahal. This structure is still on display in Agra. Every year, 3 million tourists visit this eternal testament.

So, both of these stories ended on a tragic note, and perhaps these stories touched many people’s hearts and brought tears to their eyes. This is the tragedy’s defining feature.

What do you think would have happened if Anarkali had not died? Would she be allowed to live happily with Salim? No, because even if she lived, she would be denied the right to live with him due to her low caste. Because that ending wouldn’t be too emotional and intriguing, the story demanded a tragic ending to create a disturbing connection between the characters and the audience.

Similarly, the Taj Mahal would not have been built if Mumtaz had not died. And if it wasn’t built, ordinary love stories wouldn’t look so good, and we wouldn’t remember their love. As a result, the tragedy occurred. And so is tragedy required.

Tragedy purges some of our deepest feelings that have been dormant for a long time. After all, we all have memories of painful experiences that have left an emotional imprint on us. As a result, these stories strike a chord with our sadness. Hearing and feeling these stories is similar to taking an emotional shower. These stories are great because of love. Above all, the tragic ending is what makes these stories so powerful and memorable. These endings demonstrate that the story ends but not the love, which is the underlying message of tragic stories. Also, tragic endings are preferred because they are more realistic and subconsciously touch a part of the reader’s heart that he or she would otherwise ignore. If no character dies, it becomes obvious that the ending will be happy no matter what.

Since the storyline is always the same, the hero meets the heroine and they both fall in love. Also, as in any love story, there is a villain who causes the problem, but in the end, love triumphs over hate, the villain dies, and the hero and heroine live happily ever after.

But, unlike happy endings, tragedy deconstructs the love utopia that the readers have woven around the protagonists, which is what makes the storyline brilliant. This is what elicits their sympathy and draws them into the story.

Thus, unlike all other forms of drama, tragedy ensures that the love of separated people transcends time. And therefore, we grieve, we remember and so we believe, that love exists, and it remains for a long time, even after death, by which I mean forever.

Mother-daughter </3

Everything still smelt like her. The tinted walls, the faded red dupatta, the broken bangles, the golden maang tika, the curtains in the kitchen, the saree that she last wore, and the beautiful lamps that hung above. Those lamps? She had specially bought them for Diwali, to spread light in the house. She had been so happy that day. She had decorated the house with diyas all over and her happiness knew no bounds that day. After all, she was this type of person. She had no idea what it meant to be sad. There was not a single day when she was seen crying. Yes, Pihus’ mother was the most incredible person on the planet.

Pihu had returned home after two years of studying abroad. She swore at herself. Her mother would occasionally call her, but she would ignore her. Even if she picked her calls up, all she showed her was how embarrassing she was to her. Pihu missed all this now. She wished she could go back in time and relive those moments.

Well, time is the biggest enemy of our life. It doesn’t come back for anyone. Dead do not come back to life for anyone. Who made these rules? And why? We all have relations in this world. And it hurts to let go of these relations. Then why do our beloved ones die?

Death, people say, is unavoidable. And rather than crying about it, we should accept it; after all, it is the way of life. Is that true? What exactly is the way of life? That we are to be sent by God to this planet to do work, to form relationships in the process, and then to leave the world and let go of those relationships that we so dearly once formed? People say that we must all leave this life one day. Then why should we make love if we have to leave everything behind? Why should we devote ourselves to worldly pleasures?

The house, which had once been filled with light and people, was now deserted. Nothing remained in the house after her mother’s death.

You know when death takes away your mother, it takes that word along with it. No one can take her place. No other relationship can ever replace the mother-daughter bond.

There were no lights in the house but there was the shine in her eyes when Pihu had said mom for the first time. There were no wall frames, only the broken windows her mother had once hung. There was no colour, but Pihu couldn’t take her gaze away from the pack of bindis. There was no sound from the television, but the sound of her joy when Pihu won first place in the swimming competition echoed in her ears. And at that moment Pihu realized, she had a lot of memories to look back to. But she didn’t dare to pick up her mother’s last relics.

God’s rules for the human race are insufficiently convincing. Why do we cry when we enter this world and why do we cry when we leave? Why do we have the strength to fight for life but not for death? I suppose it’s incredible that birth is conquerable but death is invincible.

All Pihu could do was look at her darling mother’s house for the last time, the house where she took her last breath, the house where she wished Pihu would return to see her.

You see, people are always haunted by their memories of the past. There’s one thing I’ve discovered about past. You can never drink enough from the past to forget the people you’ve loved and lost.

It was not like Pihu didn’t care about her mother. She had missed her mother far too much. Her two years of not talking to her mother were her way of letting go of her resentment for pushing her away from herself. It had been difficult for Pihu to cope alone at first, but she had gradually begun to integrate into the American way of life. Though there was no match to her moms’ rajma chawal, yet she somehow got accustomed to salmon and steaks, and eventually, she got busy with her life.

The silence in the house killed Pihu. The sight of the house disgusted her more than anything else. She could not live there, she decided, and with that, she moved out of the house.

Regret. The most useless form of guilt. It always arrives too late to do any good. This feeling is one of the biggest built-up faults in humans.

 I think when it is all over; everything comes back in flashes again. It’s like a kaleidoscope of memories, the reflections of which produce varying emotions visible through the brain’s eye.

And it is then that we feel the pain because we are brought back to reality.

“You will miss me when I am gone and you will certainly discover it someday,” Pihus’ mom had told her. Today was that day. Pihu had finally discovered the truth to the story her mom always told her. She had finally learned that home is not home without mom :’)

New found love

She turned back, just to have a last glance at him, for she knew she won’t be having any for a long time. With tears in her eyes, she turned away, only to look at her newfound love as she called it. “Don’t turn back ever,” somebody had told her. She didn’t mean to follow, but for whom would she turn? There was nothing left for her. If she wanted to stay happy, she had to leave and move on.

“Please just leave me,” he had told her. His words echoed in her ears every time she would think of him. She swept them away the very next moment. She wasn’t going to think negatively now. She was going to make a new beginning.

Making a new start was not going to be that easy for her. Developing intimate connections with people was not her thing. Love was not her thing. Nobody ever had the strength to grow flowers in her garden or even incite a steady thump in her disentranced heart. But he? He was different. He could destroy her now with a single moment of eye contact or the accidental brush of a hand before she would even realize. Nobody could make her feel the way he did. Nobody could replace him ever, or so she thought.

For long, she kept walking, until finally, she reached her destination. She stood there for long, transfixed. This was not what she wanted, but she had no choice. All she had asked was for some love. She had wanted to know why he left. She had waited for long, turned over all the possibilities that she could think of, yet none of them made any sense. She wanted to scream and ask him why would he make her, both, love and hate him so much at the same time?

Remembering all those five years was the least she wanted to do at this moment. All those ‘I can’t live without you’, ‘I love you’, ‘I will be with you forever’, was long gone. Those tight hugs, gentle strokes, holding hands meant nothing. Perhaps this was the reason why he left. Maybe he never loved her. Because if he loved her why did he leave her?

With this thought, she finally took a step ahead and jumped off the cliff. She didn’t know how it would end, she didn’t know what destiny had in store for her. She had stopped believing in destiny long back. All she knew was today was the first and last time she was going to listen to her heart ever. After that, there won’t be one.

She was not concerned about the consequences that would come with it. But was it meant to end this way?

She did what she thought was right, but God had made her for a different reason. She couldn’t be free of her soul so fast.

Waves crashed over her, drowning her. She made no effort, she kicked no legs. She didn’t want to live and she had decided that. She was firm, or rather stubborn. Her grandmother always told her that. But now nothing mattered. Those words, those memories, all evaporated with that jump. She closed her eyes, only to be taken away by the waves.

In the twenty-ninth second of being closer to death, a hand reached out for her and pulled her out of the water, and saved her life. Therein she knew why she was made. Destiny had proven itself.

“I am going to put myself to love again, for a bit longer than usual. Call the time eternity.” She told him. He was her newfound love ♥